A Little BW Update

How are you all doing?!?!?!??! I miss my family and friends!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

A little BW update: School is back in session and everyone went with no tears including me. I am so happy they all love their schools and teachers. (Remember we use to homeschool less than 6 months ago)

There was anticipation of going back in our high schooler however I did a couple of rockets' kicks rockefeller Christmas style on the walk to school and she couldn't help but smile <3

We almost had everything we needed, we had all the "must haves" - covered socks, underwear, shirts and pants then I realized there was a list of school supplies that Michael needed. Still counting it a WIN!

Evan and David both start SOCCER this week. So, yesterday David went on the hunt for extra - wide cleats. Yes, picture David and I as soccer mom and Dad. Whoah!

Yesterday, while David was covering PR looking for cleats with FOUR kids in tow, I dusted off and busted out my mad domestic goddess skills, I cleaned my room and did my laundry, bathroom, floors, identified some crazy unidentifiable smell coming from the laundry and yes it required bleach.

Suki, our lizard, joined us and we have been enjoying having him in the front of the house vs. tucked away in Claire's room like he was in Texas.

Michael has asked to go back to the "big house" several times. God bless him there have been times I felt like we should just pack our stuff and go back home too. Then a couple days ago he said he now calls it the "old hotel" so we are making progress.

This place is nice however I am not going to lie going from the house in TX to this has its moments. I realize now (hahaha) we had quite the setup.

We are feeling fresh and fancy today, I even ran to Yoga.

I just sat down at the PC to do a little work because we are weaning Lydia and our favorite mommy daughter bonding time is dancing to the oldies between bouts of mourning. We aren't going cold turkey but we are definitely eliminating key habits and behaviours, she has been an amazing milk manager and she has graduated with honors. The process is all hands on deck and I am fascinated with how far she can do a backbend when she decides to give her all for a minute.

Definitely a future Yogi.

My heart was heavy as a lot of my family gathered old school style in TX and the festivities will continue for another week or so. I am reminded how blessed I am to have the most awesome family on the planet even if we get a little loud and rowdy sometimes I love them and miss the echoing of everyone trying to talk over each other <3

I also realize that by feeling so close to them _no matter what_ it has definitely confused me a bit on friendships. My family has been the dominating factor for me to the point that when I have a friend that I feel close to, they become my family.

It's like I am adding to the family, not making friends.

Does that make sense?

So now at 37 and on an island where we start from ground zero I am learning to navigate all of this. ABOUT TIME!!!

Would you say that friends are more forgiving or is family more forgiving in your own experiences? I'm not talking about the amount of time it takes to forgive, just ultimately.

Admittedly too, there are those that you can forgive and you still move on without because that is the "healthy choice" however I feel like this is less of an option if you are family but maybe that is just my perception and there is freedom in that too.

Just sounds sad.

Or does it really just boil down to who you are dealing with and the particular circumstances, and relevance?

I realize it is easier for me to bond with people when there is some purpose wrapped in it. Like we have a project or a business to build or something to create. Thank God I have been building my direct marketing business for four years or a may not have ever left my house since the day I quit my 9-5 - SERIOUSLY

I am grateful for the relationships I have built through the process so many of those relationships with other moms, customers and business partners have developed into amazing friendships that I know I could not curate without the commonalities that come from being a part of our wellness community.

So as you can see I a wondering through all of these things and this experience is great opportunity for me to allow a transformation in this department and obviously a healing of some sort.

I can't imagine that it is THIS challenging for many of you.

Throw in the networking vs. friendship and it just starts to blow my mind.

It is exciting and terrifying at the same time and I am accepting miracles all day long!! It would be nice if somehow the universe would "label" people for me so I knew how to proceed <3. God help me discern the messages!!

Last, but never least, how could I update you without telling you that David and I are closer than we ever have been. There is so much mutual respect and teamwork happening in this house, it is ridiculous. I find myself madly in love him and his ability to adapt. And after I restored our room to a suitable sleeping quarters I am eternally grateful for his patience. I am so grateful for the divine intervention that facilitated our union, I get it now, I finally get it.

He is my best friend so that position has been filled.

Thanks for letting me babble ......